Like many people, I use the website Reddit and enjoy it quite a bit. I learn all kinds of new things on a regular basis and enjoy hearing other people’s stories and points of view. I don’t always agree with the other points of view, but that’s a given when there are literally millions of users in one place. Generally I let opposing points of view roll off my back.

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Image via Business Inside.

A few weeks ago, however, I came across a subreddit called The Red Pill (because the truth is hard to swallow, get it?) and its sister sub, Red Pill Women. This opposing point of view stuck in my craw and I’ve had a harder time letting it go.

If you’re unfamiliar, The Red Pill philosophy, according to its subreddit, is devoted to “[the] sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.” Or women, as is the case of the Red Pill Women sub. The idea is very anti-feminist and in favor of traditional gender roles as it relates to men and women. According to Red Pill Women’s sub, they “work to identify [women’s] weaknesses, stifle their inner bitch, and increase their female sexual value as much as possible in order to attract (or keep) a good RP man.” Part of having a high sexual value means not engaging in friends-with-benefits relationships or one-night stands. Not only that, it means maintaining the “correct” BMI, sustaining a flawless appearance, not being too competitive, and never, ever cursing.

According to The Red Pill, women shouldn’t have many (if any) sexual partners before her husband, but men can have as many as he wants. I found this gem on The Red Pill’s sub: “A woman is a lock and a man is a key. If a key opens a lot of locks, it is a master key. But if one lock is opened by lots of keys, it is a dodgy lock.” Gross.

I was disgusted, sure. But I was also fascinated. For funsies, I decided to find out what my sexual market value was. I didn’t know how to do this, but luckily there are plenty of douches on the Internet who can help me out. I’ve outlined the test and my results here, so you can see the highly scientific questions being asked.

  1. How old are you?
  2. How important is makeup to your appearance?
  3. What is your IQ?
  4. What is your breast size?
  5. Your breasts look firm and pert when you wear a) a bra, b) nothing at all, c) never.
  6. How long are your legs in relation to your height?
  7. What is the shape of your ass?
  8. How flat is your stomach?
  9. How toned are your upper arms?
  10. How big are your hands?
  11. Where is there hair on your body?
  12. What is your hip-to-waist ratio?
  13. What is your BMI?
  14. One a scale of 1 to 10, how pretty are you?
  15. How clear is your skin?
  16. Do you have any noticeable deformities?
  17. How full are your lips?
  18. How high is your forehead?
  19. How long is your jaw line from ear to chin?
  20. How big is your chin?
  21. How big is your nose?
  22. How big are your eyes in proportion to your face?
  23. What is the distance between your eyes?
  24. Do you frequently wear sexy lingerie, even when not prepping for a hot date?
  25. When someone gets hurt are you the first to ask if they’re okay and offer aid if needed?
  26. Are you highly competitive and do you often play co-ed sports?
  27. When a guy approaches you in a bar, regardless of your attraction to him, do you a) Smile and look at him, b) Pretend like you don’t notice him coming, or c) Frown and tell him you’re talking to your friends before he even gets a chance to say hi.
  28. On a first date the check arrives for dinner and drinks. You a)Offer to split the check or even pay in full, b) Smile and thank the guy when he pays, or c) Forget to thank him after he pays for you.
  29. How do you react to a new sexual partner’s small penis?
  30. What do you think of/do you do/how many times have you done various sexual acts I won’t describe here?
  31. How often do you curse?
  32. How would you describe your fashion sense?

I scored a 25. According to the lovely website who’s quiz I took, this means I’m a “Greater Beta. More than a few attractive guys will approach [me]. But if [my] personality is flawed [I] risk becoming a pump and dump victim.”

Well good thing I met M. Otherwise I’d be pumped and dumped all over town due to my gutter mouth, not-huge boobs, and affinity for outdoor recreation.

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I like the way this sweatshirt thinks. Image via LookHuman.

I mean seriously, what the damn hell is this? It saddens me that people actually take this stuff seriously and live their lives according to it. This is 2014, not 1954. And even if it were 1954, I have a feeling my grandmothers would have punched my grandfathers in the face if they expected all this nonsense from them.