We’ve all made mistakes we aren’t proud of, least of which involve our appearance. While at the time I thought each of the items on this list were the height of beauty/fashion/coolness/whatever, I was very, very wrong. At least my peers were doing equally idiotic things so we all looked like morons together.
- Blue glitter. My mom wasn’t really on board with me wearing makeup when I was in the 4th and 5th grade (who can blame her?), but I was raring to go. While on a trip to Claire’s with some friends, we all bought tiny vials of sticky blue glitter and proceeded to use it almost everyday for the next 6 months. I smeared it on my eyes, lips, cheeks, and hair. It held a special place on my dresser and I felt very, very grown up whenever I wore it. Because grown-ups often slather themselves with sticky, navy blue flecks of shiny plastic.
- Scrunchies were for my hair, obviously – I loved the way they made ponytails stick crazily far out the side of my head. Scrunchies also served as a fashion accessory, too: I used them as bracelets, anklets, and to tie up the sided of my oversized tee shirts.
- Bonne Bell Emotions perfume. Remember these guys? They came in little glass bottles with a silver top. My friends and I went absolutely nuts over them – almost as nuts as we went over gel pens. My favorite was the “Flirty” scent, despite being hideously shy around boys. I thought that if I wore the perfume, boys would flock to me because they would smell my alluring coquettishness like bloodhounds. They did not.
- I loved my overalls and was furious that my mom wouldn’t let me do as the cool girls did and let one of the straps remain unbuckled. Perhaps she thought it was sloppy or stupid looking. Either way, she was correct. For some reason overalls are making a bit of a comeback and all I can say is, unless you’re a farmer or a toddler, WHY.
- Exclamation perfume. This eau de barf by Coty is apparently still being sold at drugstores and online. After I deemed myself too grown up for Bonne Bell, I moved onto this perfume. It claims to be a blend of peach, apricot, amber, and sandalwood, and my friends and I all thought we smelled great, but in actual fact I think we probably smelled more like musky farts.
- Brown lipstick. Because who doesn’t want to look like they just snacked on a turd?
- Puka shell necklaces. These things were ridiculously popular in junior high and made every single wearer – male and female alike – look like a giant douche.
- Over-plucked eyebrows. Right before my freshman year of high school I decided that my eyebrows (which are dark blonde and naturally somewhat sparse already) needed to be taken care of. This meant plucking them within an inch of their life and then drawing them back in a single, thin line. It was certainly a look, but I’m not entirely sure what I was going for. I maimed my eyebrows for years until finally, the summer before junior year, I decided to grow them back. That summer was not pretty, but it was still prettier than my anorexic eyebrows.
- Noxzema and Sea Breeze toner. I thought the tingling, cooling, almost-burning sensation on my skin meant the products were working to eliminate clogged pores and pimples. I was wrong. I now know that ingredients like menthol, alcohol, camphor, and eucalyptus oil are all extremely bad for the skin and strip it of moisture. But those kids in the Noxzema and Sea Breeze commercials looked so good!
- Jelly shoes. I loved my jelly shoes and wore them all summer. Nevermind the fact that spending more than 20 minutes in them would result in icky foot sweat and brown muck on your feet. I desperately wanted the high-heeled ones, but Mom said no. It’s just as well – all the sweat would have made me slip anyway.
- Butterfly clips. Sparkly butterfly clips were all over my head for a few years. Teeny tiny clips that really could only hold a few hairs at a time seemed glamorous and trendy. And who doesn’t want to look like a bunch of bugs have landed in your hair?
- Frosted pink lipstick. While this is slightly better than the poop lipstick, it still makes anyone who wears it looks like a glittery corpse.
- Peel-off nail polish. Nothing says glamour like bits of plastic-y crap stuck to your nails. For some reason they made a comeback a few years ago and a grown-up version of peel-off nail polish was being sold at Anthropologie. I was tempted to buy it, but somehow restrained myself.
- Crimped hair. I loved crimped hair. There are still unfortunate pictures of me at a roller rink with huge, crimped hair. I would spend the night before painstakingly braiding my wet hair and the next morning woke to a big, delightfully poufy coif. When I see crimping irons being sold in stores nowadays, I shake my head. This style looks good on no one.
- Bucket hats. No summer outfit during the 6th grade was complete without my bucket hat. For some reason I thought it made me look trendy and outdoorsy. I’ve since learned that I’m really not a hat person, especially if the hat looks like a bucket.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Since last year I discussed what I was thankful for (the bigguns like M, my family, and friends), I thought I’d discuss the more trivial things I’m thankful for that make life a little bit nicer.
Pinterest – Hours of time wasted pinning beautiful clothes I’ll never buy and recipes I’ll take forever to make, because who wants to read? (Just kidding, I do, but books are not stupid).
Trader Joe’s Vanilla and Cinnamon Black Tea – My favorite grocery store only sells this tea during the holiday season, so when it hits the shelves, I stock up like an apocalypse is coming and I need to fill my Doomsday Preppers-esque bunker. Basically, it’s a really tasty black tea. And it has a cute little lemur on the box with Christmas lights tangled around him.
Pictures of cute animals – Because they instantly make me feel better, even if I’m already in a great mood.
Reddit – Despite having some rather… unsettling corners, Reddit is a bit like Pinterest in that it serves as a good time killer. Plus I can learn about all sorts of new things and commiserate with other pasty nerds.
Netflix – Netflix has been on fire lately with its original content. House of Cards and Orange is the New Black were binged through in short order. Plus it allowed me to watch Shame with Michael Fassbender and he is so, so pretty. I’m also thankful for Michael Fassbender.
Cloth headbands – Because I don’t like getting my hair in my face while I’m exercising and bobby pins leave dents in my hair. I told you this was a list of stupid things.
Vidalia Chop Wizard – THIS THING IS AMAZING. My mother-in-law bought me one a few years ago and it makes dicing and chopping things so much quicker. I used it so much that I broke it and bought myself a new one awhile ago. Plus is comes with this comb-like thingy to clean it with and I think that’s really fun because I’m weird.
Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay – It makes my skin look amazing and is fun to wear because you look like a scary alien.
Boots – They keep my feet warm and look great on everyone. Mostly I’m excited because Mom just bought me an amazing pair as an early Christmas present. Mom is the best. So are boots.
This bag – Because obviously.
If you can remember all the way back to June, you might also remember me discussing my favorite cheapie beauty buys at length. As much as I love a good bargain, I like indulge now and then and feel sometimes the heftier price tag is worth it for the awesome results/scents/whatever that I get. Read on my recommendations…
Urban Decay Naked and Naked 2 Palettes – These palettes are quite simply the best eyeshadows I’ve ever bought. They are super pretty, come with matte and shimmer colors, and can create a wide variety of looks. These palettes sell out constantly and I was lucky to get my hands on them when I did! The third palette in the Naked line is coming out soon and I AM SO EXCITED.
Make Up For Ever Smoky Lash – I love big, black, thick, curly eyelashes. I was born with straight, blonde, short ones, though. Enter MUFE’s Smoky Lash! It’s super dark and gives me the lush, dark eyelashes I so covet without the bother of fake ones. It also doesn’t flake off during the day and leave little black mascara flecks on my cheeks. Bonus!
Koh Gen Do Soft Gommage Spa Gel – This stuff is seriously amazing and appeals to the gross skin-picker deep inside me. After applying a small amount to your face, you gently massage in circular motions and little balls start to form – balls of dead skin and debris! Gross! And totally cool! This exfoliant works wonders and leaves my skin super soft and glow-y.
Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey – I’m not a lipstick person, despite what the inside of my makeup bag will tell you. I do, however, like to punch it up once in awhile, and when I do I reach for Black Honey. It’s a shiny and moisturizing, and the color is sheer enough that it looks good on everyone! It’s such a cult favorite that Clinique has expanded the Black Honey line and added lip gloss, lip liner, eyeshadow, and nail polish.
Dermablend Smooth Indulgence Concealer – I have extremely pale skin and was born with what I consider pretty dark under eye circles (thanks, Mom!). No concealer had been able to cover them to my liking until I found Dermablend. The company makes makeup for covering up tattoos, port wine stains, and dark scarring, so I figured this would have to work on my circles. And it did! Yay!
Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil – Finding a good pencil eyeliner is a challenge. You don’t want one that’s going to rub off after 5 minutes, but you don’t want one that’s too hard to smudge or is painful to apply. Enter this pencil – it’s smooth, creamy, and super blendable for up to 30 seconds, but then sets for a super long time. It also comes in a number of beautiful shades and can be used as an eyeshadow base, if you’re so inclined.
Urban Decay All Night Long-Lasting Makeup Setting Spray – Urban Decay again! These guys really know what they’re doing when it comes to makeup. I am not a big fan of powder, as I don’t love the way it feels, and I think it makes me look cake-y. Not pretty. But I do like my makeup to stay put all day without touching up (who has time for that noise?). This setting spray is like hair spray for your face – it makes every stitch of makeup last and last and stay fresh. I used this on my wedding day and it held my makeup together through tears, sweat, and a long day and night. Winner winner!
Lollia In Love Shea Butter Handcreme – I stumbled across this lotion while waiting in line at Anthropologie a few years back and instantly fell in love (Hey! That’s the name of the lotion!). It’s not every day you find a super moisturizing hand lotion that also smells totally out of this world incredible. But I did! It combines Macadamia and Avocado oils to smooth skin and Apple Blossom and Jasmine in the scent. It is lovely and in just about every bag, drawer, and shelf in my life.
MAC Fluidline in Blacktrack – I love this eyeliner. I am a big fan of liquid eyeliner, but it has a tendency to not be super waterproof, and I sometimes get watery eyes or see that Sarah McLachlan sad pet commercial on TV and burst into tears. Fluidline is just as intense in color as liquid and when applied with a fine liner brush can give you the same thin line or cat eye flick. Plus it lasts forever and comes in some really nice shades.
You know how in Friends the group discusses celebrities on their freebie lists? You know the list I’m referring to – the one that lists the celebrities you’re allowed to have relations with while in a committed relationship, and your significant other isn’t allowed to get upset. I have a list like that. Only M doesn’t want me to have a list, so it’s really just a list of people I’d hug real tight and giggle at nervously (Oh by the way, I have this great bridge to sell you).
You might find it a little odd for some of these fellas to be on this list, but that’s just how I roll – oddly. It’s a veritable potpourri of men and I want to stick my nose in there and take a great big whiff.
Clint Eastwood – Mr. Eastwood will forever be at the top of my list. Young Clint, old Clint – I don’t care. He’s just so good looking, you guys! And a wonderful actor and director to boot. I used to watch his spaghetti westerns as a little girl, so my crush took hold early and has yet to release me from its craggily, rugged clutches.
The rest of my list is in no particular order. But Clint is always first. ALWAYS.
Michael Fassbender – I first laid eyes on the stupidly handsome Mr. Fassbender when he played Burton “Pat” Christenson in Band of Brothers and thought, “now there’s a handsome fella.” Then I saw him again in Inglourious Basterds, Jane Eyre, and Prometheus. So many movies! I decided it obviously meant he was stalking me via movie roles and was in love with me. Duh. Michael Fassbender is a super talented, super strapping (see his role in Shame for exactly how strapping), AND super sexy with his unique Irish/German accent. More, please!
Leonard Nimoy – It appears I might have a thing for geriatrics. Whatever. Anyway, the nerdy fangirl in me emerges a bit with this one. My love for Nimoy started when M sat me down to watch the original Star Trek series and I fell hard for Spock. He’s so smart! And logical! And those ears! I got to meet the man himself a few years ago at Emerald City Comicon and could barely speak, but I did shake his hand and say hi and smile like a maniac. That’s the same as smoothly sweeping him off his feet, right? (P.S. Zachary Quinto has nothing on my man).
Jon Hamm – I saw Jon Hamm before in films such as Kissing Jessica Stein and Space Cowboys (starring my main squeeze Clint), but he never really caught my eye until he played the charming cad Don Draper on Mad Men. Oh, Don Draper… You’re such an utter piece of shit, but you’re so damaged and sexy, I forgive you. Now come give me a great big, sloppy hug. And in real life he’s been with his girlfriend for years and years and he is rocking a major beard at the moment. AND he seems super nice and amazing in interviews. I just want to be BFFs with him. Sexy BFFs.
Ryan Gosling – Who doesn’t love this guy? He is totally adorable and has some serious acting chops. Unlike every single other female my age in the history of ever, I was not a fan of The Notebook. I thought it was utter garbage. Despite my disdain for what is considered to be his breakthrough role, I still have THE FEELINGS for Ryan Gosling and quite enjoyed his other movies like Crazy Stupid Love and The Ides of March. He can hey girl me anytime.
Henry Cavill – In the new iteration of Superman, Mr. Cavill plays the titular character and he knocks that shiz out of the park. I mean come on, just look at him. He’s super in every single way (except apparently he likes The Big Bang Theory, which… no). A dude at my gym told me to check out Tudors because apparently in the first episode you see his tushy. Duly noted, gym guy. (It’s been added to my Netflix queue since that conversation, obviously).
Eion Bailey – Another Band of Brothers alum! Eion hasn’t has many more big roles, but he did play a PTSD-suffering war vet in an episode of Law and Order: SVU this past season and he looked as dreamy as ever. I’m beginning to think I have a thing for dark hair and blue eyes.
Vincent d’Onofrio – Oh man, VdO. I really, really like cop shows and the Law & Order franchise is no exception. After binging through every. single. episode. ever. of SVU a few years ago, I gave Criminal Intent a try. IT WAS AMAZING. Maybe even more amazing than SVU. And part of that amazingness came from the wonderfully talented Vincent d’Onofrio. As soon as I saw him, I was hooked. He was just so dreamy and weird! My crush made me a crazy woman – I looked up every movie and TV show he’d been in and watched as many as I could, including The Cell (which no one should ever watch for any reason) and episodes Miami Vice and The Equalizer. He’ll forever be a better Thor than Liam Hemsworth, too.
Christian Bale – I fell in love with Christian Bale when I saw him play Laurie opposite Winona Ryder in Little Women. Since then he’s become a wildly successful actor after he took his turn as Batman in The Dark Knight trilogy. But I really, really loved him as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. He was perfect as an egomaniacal yuppie turned serial killer and I ate those shirtless scenes right up with a spoon. A sexy, psychotic spoon.
Ian Harding – So one of my guiltiest of guilty pleasure TV shows is Pretty Little Liars. It’s on ABC Family, it’s not very well written, and there are plot holes you could fly a plane through. But Mr. Fitz, played by the adorable Ian Harding, is in it and he’s a charming, bookish English teacher with a thing for younger gals and I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WAS SO MAD ABOUT THE LAST FINALE OH MY GOD. I don’t know if Ian has been in anything else, but look at those cheekbones and pretty eyes… What was I talking about?
Halloween is almost here! The holiday has always been one of my favorites. My mom used to make me very elaborate, creative costumes such as Medieval Princess, Movie Star (complete with gold sequins and lamé), Pirate, Tinkerbell – I did it all! The trick-or-treating obviously was the best part, and now that I’m of an age where it’s looked down upon to knock on stranger’s doors asking for free food, I do things like drink wine, eat big bags of candy, and watch scary movies on my couch. It’s just as fun, I swear…
Anyway, with the spirit of Halloween in mind, I thought I’d compose a list of my favorite fictional witches. Scariness was not a factor in my picks – only my infallible opinion.
The Sanderson sisters, Hocus Pocus
It’s just not Halloween for me without a viewing of Hocus Pocus. Luckily for yours truly, ABC Family plays it about a million times during the month of October, so I’m always set. Anyway, the Sanderson sisters (Winnie, played by Bette Midler; Mary, played by Kathy Najimy; and Sarah, played by SJP) are killed by an angry mob in the 1500’s after kidnapping a kid to steal her life force so they can be youthful and beautiful forever (isn’t that always the way?). Winnie casts a spell right before they’re killed, though, allowing them to be resurrected every Halloween whenever a virgin lights their black-flamed candle. Binx, their victim’s brother-turned-adorable-black-cat, guards their cottage for 300 some years to make sure this never happens. In present day Salem, hijinks ensue when too-school-for-school-or-trick-or-treating teen Max lights the candle. The sisters are resurrected and all hell breaks loose and it’s TOTALLY AMAZING. Also, this is the best SJP has ever looked or will look, counting SATC.
The ladies from The Craft
As a teenager I was completely obsessed with this movie. It was on rotation in my VCR, along with The Crow. Pre-The Mentalist Robin Tunney stars a Sarah Bailey, a troubled teen interested in Wicca. She moves in with her dad and takes up with a group of girls rumored to be witches, led by Nancy (a pre-anything ever Fairuza Balk). Things are all good until Nancy starts getting lame and abusing her supernatural powers. Then Sarah has to show her what’s what. Neve Campbell and some other lady are also witches drawn to Nancy’s evil ways. While not necessarily a good movie, it’s a lot of B-status fun that every single girl of my generation has seen at least once during her high school career.
Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty
Girlfriend was so fly she gave herself her own nickname (“Mistress of All Evil”) and people didn’t make fun of her for it. Impressive.
The Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz
Man this lady gave me some scary dreams when I was young. Margaret Hamilton’s witch has grown on me over the years, though – perhaps due in part to my love of black ensembles and big noses.
Willow Rosenberg from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel
Who doesn’t love a pre-CBS Alyson Hannigan? Willow (along with Xander) meets Buffy the first day of 10th grade at Sunnydale High School. Initially shy and nerdy, after Willow discovers her magical abilities, she becomes a confident, kick-ass (and a little evil during the 6th season) witch. Aside from her newfound confidence, she is also extremely smart. And just adorable – what’s not to love?
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
My interest in witches started long before The Craft with Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. For those unfamiliar (for shame), Elvira isn’t technically a witch, but was a late-night weekend B-grade horror movie host for Elvira’s Movie Macabre. She has a California Valley-girl personality, a big black bouffant, tight dresses, and huge knockers. The girl also knows her way around a make-up mirror – yowza. I’m not ashamed to admit she was my first girl-crush at the tender young age of 5.
Ursula, The Little Mermaid
Ursula is the fabulous Cecaelia sea witch in The Little Mermaid who helps “unfortunate souls” (i.e. LOSERS) to better her own life. She is a big fat, fierce force to be reckoned with that reminds me a lot of one of my favorite John Waters’ performers Divine. I feel like her and Maleficent would get along really well.
Circe from Odyssey
In Homer’s epic, Odysseus and his crew come upon Circe on her island of Aeaea. She then turns his crew into a bunch of pigs, something she dabbles in. Odysseus, though, uses a magic potion given to him earlier by Hermes and is able to evade Circe’s spells. Then they shack up and party on her island for a year, before she helps him get home. Nice lady.
Kiki from Kiki’s Delivery Service
Kiki is an adorable 13-year-old witch with a cute cat named Jiji. She has some questions about who she really is and faces some challenges about her innate talents. After questioning her identity, she is faced with the challenge of saving her friend Tombo and is able to gain back her confidence. She also works part-time at a bakery. DELICIOUS.
Grandmama from The Addams Family
Grandmama is the matriarch of the Addams. She knows her stuff too: she creates potions, spells, hexes, and tells fortunes. Not much is known about her other than that, and that she’s Morticia’s mom, but she has one of my favorite lines in the movie:
Dr. Pinderschloss: The human spirit, it is a hard thing to kill.
Grandmama: Even with a chainsaw.
So true, Grandmama. So true.
Notably absent from my list are the witch from Bewitched because I’ve never seen it, and the ladies from Sabrina, the Teenaged Witch and Charmed, because those shows suck.
It should come as no surprise: I love to shop. And while I love Nordstrom, Anthropologie, and other boutiques, I’m no snob. My love for a good deal knows no bounds. Ofttimes I’ll walk into Target with a list that says “toilet paper, dishwasher detergent, and tampons,” and then, 60 minutes and $100 later, stumble out of the store with bags full of nail polish, random home decor items, jewelry, body lotion, clothes, a Hello Kitty reusable shopping bag, a jump rope, and, curiously, no toilet paper, dishwasher detergent, or tampons.
Some of my favorite buys have been from H&M, TJ Maxx, etc. I love expensive jeans and designer shoes as much as the next gal, but I also really love a bargain. When someone compliments me on my dress, earrings, etc. and asks me where I got them, I get a kick out of not only telling them I got it at Ross, but that it was $9.99. Then I want to high-five myself for my savvy shopping skills.
All this bargain shopping does lead to some regret – after all, more often than not, you do get what you pay for. But there have been some items that I buy repeatedly and would even spend more for I love them so much (but don’t tell their makers/distributors/whatever that). So, without further ado, I give you my favorite cheapie buys that you should totally go out and buy: bath and beauty edition.
Weleda Skin Food – This lotion is amazing. It’s super thick, smells nice, and a little goes a long way. It is for the face and body, but I just use it on my face as a night cream. It leaves my skin looking shiny, but I find that by morning the shine has gone away and I’m let with soft, pretty skin. It’s also not tested on animals – score!
Neutrogena Oil Free Moisture, Sensitive Skin – This is my daytime moisturizer. I tend to have fairly temperamental skin – a strong ingredient or weird chemical will make it angry and blotchy in spots for weeks at a time. This moisturizer moisturizes (duh), but is super gentle and oil-free. It also doesn’t clog pores, contains no alcohol, and is fragrance free. One pump covers my whole face. I only wish it had an SPF, but I stay out of the sun for the most part anyway, so until the day comes when Neutrogena makes an oil-free moisturizer with SPF for sensitive skin, I’ll stick to big sunglasses.
Almay Eye Makeup Remover Pads, Moisturizing – I love me some eyeliner and mascara. I also love that eyeliner and mascara to be waterproof, sweat-proof, smear- and budge-proof. These attributes require more than just a little face wash to get the stuff off my skin at the end of the day, though, and that’s where this makeup remover comes in. It is fantastic at quickly removing eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, concealer, whatever lickety split. It leaves a fairly oily (or as Almay likes to call it, “moisturizing”) residue, but that’s easily remedied with face wash…
Neutrogena Oil-Free Cream Cleanser – Thankfully, I don’t really have acne, but Neutrogena’s Oil-Free Acne Wash really gets my face feeling clean without causing dryness. The smell is sort of medicinal, but in a fresh way that I enjoy. It cuts through sweat after a run and any leftover makeup remover pad residue.
Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque – Oh, Queen Helene, you’re a classic for a reason. This bright green clay mask was so much fun to put on at slumber parties when I was younger! I still use it today when I’m feeling oilier/zittier than usual, and it sops up all the extra ickiness. The mint also makes your skin feel cool and tingly. Plus, it’s still super fun.
Trader Joe’s Coconut Body Butter – This is one my most recent acquisitions and I am obsessed with it. When I was in Palm Springs last month, my cousin emerged from the bathroom smelling lovely, and when I asked about what the scent was, she told me it was from her body butter. Her body butter from Trader Joe’s! The same place I get my granola! I snapped it up as soon as I got back to Seattle and am now proud to say that I smell like coconut cookies and am all soft. GO BUY IT.
Carmex Everyday Soothing Lip Balm – I love my Carmex! It doesn’t taste good and the smell is minty, but in a medicinal way, but it’s the best damn lip balm I’ve come across. My lips are a bit on the dry side, and I lick them a fair amount, drying them out even more. Carmex moisturizes them for a long time and makes them feel tingly with camphor and menthol. It’s also not super sticky, so my hair doesn’t get stuck and I don’t feel all gloppy. M will even kiss me with this stuff on, which he doesn’t like to do with other lip balms.
Heel to Toe Moisturizing Therapy Foot Repair and Swissco Natural Pumice Stone – Feet, in general, aren’t cute. Unless you’re into feet, in which case they are, but I’m not, so they remain uncute. I do make an effort to treat them nicely (especially considering running has a tendency to beat them up) and make them look pretty, which is where this pumice and lotion come in. Before bed every week or two I like to pumice the ever loving shit out of them to get off any dry, crackly bits, lube them up with this lotion, put on some cotton socks, and hop in bed. Come morning my tootsies are looking pretty fabulous – though not cute, never cute. But closer than before. A pumice stone is pretty much the same wherever you get it (though they are WAY better than those foot files, and I assume they are better than PedEggs – I’ve never tried one because I want to keep being able to eat shredded cheese), but this lotion is different than most foot lotions because it doesn’t smell like mint. Mint is all well and good, but I get tired of it in my foot lotions. This one smells clean and is nice and thick, but not greasy and gross.
Fin. Now go buy things!
I’m back! But not with a vengeance, or even a tan, despite my long weekend in Palm Springs. I’ve been a lazy blogger again, what with a big work event I’ve been working on for a year finally coming to fruition last week, along with my pilgrimage to California for a sun- and fun-filled bachelorette party weekend. I’ve also been busy with school (biology is hard) and other life-related things. It also might have something to do with almost being done with A Dance With Dragons and reeeaaalllllllyyyy wanting to finish it. But here I am! Back for my latest installment of Fictional Ladies I Admire. So let’s get to it.
Sybil Branson nee Crawley of Downtown Abbey – Sybil is awesome. She’s the youngest of the Crawley daughters and is a bit of a rebel (she wears pants!). She takes up worthy causes and fights for the little guy – even getting knocked unconscious during a riot. Plus she also doesn’t let her family’s wealth and occasional small-mindedness stop her from being with the person she loves most.
Liz Lemon of 30 Rock – I can super relate to Liz Lemon. She and I have done a lot of similar things, like sucking pie out of sweatshirt fibers. I can proudly say, however, that I have not made out with a dog. Anyway, Liz is on the list not only because she’s hilarious, but because throughout the entire series she stays focused on her goal of “having it all,” despite some major road blocks like crummy boyfriends and a demanding job. And, like the photo says above, the lady isn’t afraid of making mistakes.
Daria Morgendorffer of Daria – Daria is such a cool lady that when she first appeared on Beavis and Butt-head, MTV gave her her own show! Like Liz Lemon, I see a lot of myself in Daria. She’s can be pretty cynical and somewhat anti-social, and has a general disdain for others (“I don’t have have low self esteem. I have low esteem for everyone else.”) She’s not afraid to be herself or speak her mind, though, even when it comes to wacky (but well-intentioned!) parents and teachers. She’s also a fantastic role model for teen-aged ladies who may not be having such a great time milling around in high school social minutia.
Peggy Olson of Mad Men – When Peggy wants something, she goes after it. When she first arrives at Sterling Cooper in the series premier, she’s an unassuming secretary with terrible bangs. With some major copy-writing chops (and a new hair cut), she is promoted to a copy writer, and then poached by the competition for a buttload of money. Way to go, Peggy! She is also strong and able to hold her own with the likes of Don Draper and Roger Sterling – she calls them on their bullshit and even extorts money from one of them. You get it, girl.
Leslie Knope of Parks and Recreation – Leslie Knope is also a strong lady who knows what she wants – to work in the government! This last season we saw her ascend to city councilwoman, meet her lifelong crush Joe Biden, and marry the man of her dreams! Busy lady! Leslie is passionate about the people and causes that matter most to her and isn’t afraid to work hard to defend her beliefs. She also loves breakfast foods at any time of day, which I can certainly get behind.
Joan Harris nee Holloway of Mad Men – Joan is on the list for obvious reasons (she’s awesome!), but mostly because she is just so damn confident. She has a bangin’ bod and takes no guff from any of the lecherous dudes around the office. She’s comfortable in her own skin and isn’t afraid to stick up for herself, even when it comes to her super sleazy husband. Plus, she’s the only woman on the show so far that hasn’t succumbed to Don’s charms – talk about strength of will.
Aeryn Sun of Farscape – When Aeryn first shows up, she seems like your everyday, mindless soldier that’s been brainwashed to ignore her humanity and personality. But after some humanizing and whatnot, we discover there’s some gooey, amazing, bad ass creamy nougat underneath the hard militant shell. Aeryn is strong, smart, and knows her stuff. She’s not shy with her opinions and never belittles herself for the benefit of someone else. She’s also a true friend and very loyal, even to weasly little guys like Rygel.
Maggie Greene of The Walking Dead – I love The Walking Dead, but one thing I hate about it is the lack of strong female characters. Laurie was a stupid harlot, Andrea was always making horrible decisions, and the rest don’t really do much else. Maggie, on the other hand, is amazing. She is amazing at killing zombies, talking sense into idiots, taking care of her dad and sister, and getting what she wants (like Glen!). She’s strong and capable, but also sweet and kind. And she totally deserves to kick The Governor’s ass to high heaven (everyone does, technically, but she does the most!).
Zoe Washburne of Firefly – I’m a big Joss Whedon fan, and I like that he creates strong female leads, but I think the strongest, without a doubt (even more than Buffy!) would have to be Zoe. Whedon’s heroines have a tendency to either be emotionally iffy or to run around nearly naked. Sometimes both. Zoe is always fully clothed and has her emotional shit together. Despite her toughness, she still has a soft spot for her friends and especially for her husband Wash. When forced to choose between her captain/BFF Mal and Wash, she totally chooses Wash and it’s heart-warming as hell!
Donna Noble of Doctor Who – I love Doctor Who, but one issue I have with it is that all the female companions develop crushes on the Doctor and are just in complete awe of him. Not Donna Noble! From the start she regards the Doctor as her equal – while impressed with his TARDIS and time-traveling capabilities, she doesn’t think she’s better than her because of them. Basically, Donna doesn’t take any shit from anyone and she gets stuff DONE. But in a really nice, funny way that makes me love her!